It’s down to a week and a half before my undergraduate days in Iowa end and I’ll toss a mortar board into the air. I suppose this is a big turnaround. What is life outside academic institutions and what will home feel like? I don’t really know. Soon I will scramble to put myself together and start a beginning of my own, facing the typical set of inadequacy that comes with entering a new phase of life. I fancy I will get my shit together relatively okay, preferably with not too many big accidents along the way.
Happy that I like myself better as I go along with age. Proud that I’ve gotten this far relatively well although I have many more miles to go. I’m a little thrilled, sad, nervous about leaving America. Range of weird feelings as I’m hanging onto a threshold, trying to decide how to respond and not wanting to be too overwhelmed. I hope Malaysia will not hug me stiffly and greet me with a constipated smile because I am looking forward to meet and love her again, albeit as a slightly different person this time.
If you can see by the picture I took above, it’s been cold and bleary. Winter has been threatening to arrive by peeking every few days or so, being a tease provoked by global warming. The weather dips and rises as we rhythmically switch our coats to fit the occasion. I am hoping that it will snow a little when my parents get here so my mom can get a taste of the ever-famous, bone-crushing Midwest chill. And that they will like my cooking and approve of me even after not seeing me for a year and a half (Skype isn’t accurate na na na). The only people I can be very childlike and annoying around is with my old folks, but that’s because I love them more than anything and they mean the world to me.
For now, the best thing to do may be to economize the rest of my free time by soaking up every vestige of Iowa I can think of (namely the literature, the coffeehouses, the company, my family here, my cat, cereal selection at Walmart, Mongolian Grill) while studying for the only paper I have to study for, which is Intro. to Marketing. All my major assignments and presentations have been shot down one after the other this week, which is very satisfying.
Every day the thought that I am only 22 and still living out my youth brims me up with excitement. So many possibilities, don’t you know? I look forward to all the places I will visit in the next two months. Las Vegas, LA, San Francisco, Penang, Singapore, and forever potentially, Kuala Lumpur.